High in a Castle

By Abby Mendez

I am high
on mirth
And ash.

I can’t even see
        your        
face

now, even if I 
have your
littered bones
And whatever
was in your
broken
     brain
         strewn
              all over
                       the pavement.

I am dripping wet. I’m scrubbing but
I can’t seem to get clean.

I will regret this. I know that even as the druggy fever I’m choking on,
is peeling My eyes closed.

         I know when steel is sewn into My wrist And My castle of glass
is melting down the chalky sidewalk.

I know deep in
       My drunk
           soul.

I will feel guilt,
but now,
bathing in blood and beating
th
           em
                        raw

as I sit on My melting
throne,
                 And turn My blind
                                         eyes
away from the bright lights

                     and piercing wails 

                                  that seem to go on forever

that maybe this can make 

                        that 

                           aching

  sword go away.

and deep in the glass there is a

secret

carved into ice shards

it goes:

“the sword will never leave you now”.

______________________________________________

Abby Mendez is a fifteen-year-old poet, writer, and artist. She is a homeschooler and is preparing to publish a book of poetry. Her interests are in art, Psychology, and Muy Thai. She currently resides in Singapore and is a world traveler, having also lived in Santiago, Chile, several places in the U.S., and will be moving to Kuwait in the fall of 2022. Abby Mendez is autistic, has ADHD, and is determined to own ten cats.