By Susan E. Wagner
When you live in a small town and it feels like everyone
knows your business because they usually do and it feels
like Judgment Day on Main Street
and in the school’s library, which stays open all summer,
you get recognized and criticized by other kids’ mothers
who think age appropriate is more
important than the good stuff your mother lets you read,
and then they follow you out and offer a car ride because
the five miles you need to bike
to get home is too dangerous, they think, and you have to
smile and say, no, thanks, which annoys them and they
start to insist and follow you
the first mile so you stop and get in the car with your bike
in their trunk because you know there will be less gossip
this way or maybe beating your
head’s just not worth it anymore –
You sit in the front with her kids in the back and you show
her where to turn to get to the farm but you make her park
across the road because you tell her it’s easier to turn
around this way – she finally gets your bike out and you
can say thank you and walk
the bike across the road and then you stop to wave, turn
and walk the sand driveway to the back of your house,
put the bike in the garage and
hope Mom didn’t see the car. Mom would be hurt to
know others think she’s neglectful because she thinks
it’s safe to bike to town
and besides, when all it is one less kid in the house. Yes,
Mom would be hurt so you don’t tell her ever because
you want no chance that she
might stop your one-way ticket out.
Susan Wagner is the author of Unmuted: Voices on the Edge, a collection of hybrid poetry on mental illness and families. A former therapist, Susan facilitated creative and poetry writing group therapies. She has published poetry, short stories and feature articles and taught both creative and business writing. Susan is an editor with The Pearl S. Buck Writing Center and currently finishing her second novel. Her next book of poetry, another in the Unmuted series, will soon be available on Amazon.
Pearl S. Buck Writing Center 